Why Do Children Lie?

Like any mother, I would like my child to grow up with good values, honesty included.  Earlier today, I saw my daughter wearing a tiara we got her for a cousin’s wedding. She was part of the entourage and we thought she would look absolutely adorable wearing a tiara. That was years ago and I know  that I stored that tiara in my cabinet. Today when I saw her wearing it I asked her where she got it. After a millisecond of hesitation, she said she got it in her toy storage. I asked her again, “Did you get it from my cabinet?” “No”. I asked her two more times… that was when she broke down and cried on the bed.

image from parentmap.com

I get so frustrated when things like this happen. I don’t want her to grow up a liar. How can I correct this disappointing habit of hers while she’s still young?

I did a bit of research on the net to find out why kids lie and this is what I found out:

Kids lie to prevent any punishment. They lie to cover things up in hopes of stopping punishment or reprimand that may result from their wrong doing.

Kids lie to test their parents’ response including its constancy or lack thereof.

Kids lie to gain attention. The child with the better story gets more audience.

Kids lie to manipulate a situation. “No, I didn’t get a piece of candy earlier, can I have some now?”

As moms, should we be alarmed?  Should we panic now that our child is heading down a path towards being a pathological liar? Don’t worry, apparently all is not lost. Kids start lying at around three years old and this escalates towards school age of four to six, when they get even better actors and better at lying.

There is one thing we parents should remember when our children lie: stay positive. Don’t freak out (like I sometimes do) and have a meltdown. Talk to your child and emphasize the positive values. Instead of highlighting the act of lying, stress the importance of honesty and how it makes you and the whole family happy and proud when only the truth is said.  You can also incorporate some stories to hammer in the value of honesty. The classic “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” never fails to drive the point. 

Of course, as with everything else in parenting, consistency is key.  Be consistent in getting your child’s attention whenever he or she lies so that’s they’ll know.

Good luck!

I am now a Sangobion Mommy!

My Bea has grown so fast! She is now six and about to turn 7 next January. I look back and wonder where have all the years gone? Parang kalian lang, she was just learning how to walk, now she’s running all over the place! She is in that phase where she is just so active. I can barely keep up with her! She bring home so many lessons to study, and mind you, the children’s subject matter nowadays, grabe! She’s still in preschool but her lessons are so complicated, you’d think they’re intended for grade school students!

So sometimes, keeping up with my daughter and keeping a day job (not for long though) plus the challenge of growing our photography business takes its toll on me. I just feel tired all the time. I often lack sleep and my skin is just dull.

So, I decided I need vitamins. With so many multivitamins in the market, I decided to try Sangobion (Merck) It promises that I’d look and perform at my best. Sold! Just like that I decided to become a Sangobion Mommy!

Sangobion is actually an iron supplement, but unlike other iron supplements, it is organic iron. This organic iron formulation allows for better absorption in the body.

Sangobion contains Vitamin C, Folic acid, Vitamin B12, Copper sulfate, and Manganese sulfate. A big improvement is the fact that Sangobion contains SORBITOL. Since a common complaint from iron supplements is that it causes constipation, Sorbitol is a good solution. This component acts as an anti-constipating agent. Sorbitol is naturally found in edible fruits and vegetables. Unlike other iron supplements which have an icky metallic smell and taste, this vitamin comes in a delicious chocolate scent.  I know, you had me at chocolate! Haha..

At P18.25 per capsule, it may not be the cheapest vitamin supplement out there, but I am willing to try it out so that I can hope to reap its wonderful effects in the years to come!

My Nanny Has TB! Grrr...

I sent my nanny packing. Yesterday, I found out that she has tuberculosis. Argh! She is now the record holder for being the nanny with the shortest number of days with us. She was with us for a total of 4.5 days.

This year, we’ve had the most nanny problems ever. When I have time, I will share them all one by one. Right now, let me just say that this year alone, we’ve had to change nannies five times!

Our latest nanny, C was referred to us by our cleaning lady and one-time nanny L. She is 16 years old but she assured me that she has already been employed as a nanny before to a little boy. I thought that this is good, she will surely be able to handle Bea. At 16, she seems to have already had a full and challenging life. Just a few months before, she lost a baby in her womb, and her boyfriend blamed her for “killing” their child. OMG… that burden at such a young age! Anyway, we were really desperately looking for help. Berto (the hubby) couldn’t get his projects done because nanny duties have been delegated to him.

So we said yes, ok let’s give C a try. When she stood up from our interview, I heard her cough. A crackling cough that made me cringe. Uh-oh. I wanted to take it back, my consent to employ her, but hubby seemed so relieved that finally he will get some work done, I just didn’t have the heart.

When  C came back the next day, we asked her to wear a surgical mask, especially when she’s around Bea. She complied. We also made sure she drank her cough meds. While training her about her daily tasks, hubby and I noticed that she is a bit sloooow, literally and figuratively. Out of desperation, we decided not to notice na lang.

On her third day, she asked for P500 so she can have that chest xray she was asked to have by the health center. Hubby gave her the money. She promised she’d return later that night. She didn’t.

After 4 days she came back, out of the blue with her boyfriend and his mom. She was explaining how her boyfriend got sick and she had to take care of him at the hospital. Ok, we are understanding folks, and stuff like these do happen. (although they should’ve had the courtesy to have someone stop by and tell us what happened.) We took her back in. Just when she was about to retire in her room, hubby asked her nonchalantly about her chest x-ray. That’s when she dropped the bomb, she has tuberculosis. She said it in a matter-of-fact way, as if she was just making kwento that she had hair rebonded or her brows waxed.  I felt my blood rush to my feet. Waaah!

That’s when we decided she had to go. We explained to her that we just can’t have a sick person near our child, especially with Bea’s bout with primary complex when she was a baby! C seemed so surprised and bewildered. I don’t think she realizes the weight of her illness. Maybe she thinks it’s just another name for the cough. (??)

Anyway, we are now back to being nannyless…  hay.  Please…. we really need someone before the weekend comes because that weekend is PACKED with activities for our business.  I am sending good vibes out there… =)

Another Blog Revamp

I kinda felt that the pink template of this mommy blog has grown old for me. I have actually outgrown my affinity to anything pink a loooong time ago. I just thought that I'd make this blog pink since it is Bea's favorite color. It is a blog about her after all, but in the light of my urgent desire to give my blogs a boost, I have decided to give this blog a new look. A purple look! Hahaha!

Ok, so admittedly, purple is MY favorite color and I'm making this blog purple to encourage me to post here more. I'm bribing myself with my favorite color just so I would write here more...could I get any weirder?

Purple Love

Tips on Teaching Your Child to Be More Organized

My parents hated clutter. They constantly reminded us to put away our things properly. My sister slowly adapted the habit. When she was younger, her room was cluttered like mine, but when she grew up, she learned the art of de-cluttering regularly. Sadly, I wasn’t able to develop that trait.

It was only when became an adult that I learned the value of organization. A cluttered space promotes a cluttered mind. Now I would like to teach my Bea how to be organized. At a young age, we can teach our children to appreciate the value of clean and orderly surroundings. They can always start with simple things they know very well, their toys.

Let me share with you tips on teaching your child the value of packing away their toys:

Let your child play with only one toy at a time. Allow her to bring out another toy from her toy chest only after she returns the previous toy properly.

Make up a song while you pack away. Make a game out of the activity. Make sure she finishes packing away her toy before the song is done.

Use clear and positive instructions. Say “Mommy would love it if you help in picking up your toys” or “Please return your dolls back to the toy chest”.

Appreciate and give praise for her actions. Let her know that you’re proud of her for remembering to pack away her toys properly.

Consistency is always important if you want this positive trait to develop into a habit. By constantly reminding your child to pack away her toys and then affirming her actions, this will set the foundation and eventually develop into a positive part of her personality as she grows up.

Bea Loves Snow White

This is how our toilet seat at home looks like. When we were at Handyman (DIY shop), hubby and I were busy picking stuff up for our new office, Bea was also busy looking at the paints, and stickers and lights. She wanted to buy so many things. Finally, I told her she can buy only one thing. She got all happy and skipped off somewhere, after a while she was back and to her daddy's dismay, she was back with this toilet seat sticker. She looooves disney princesses, Snow White in particular. I offered other items as alternative but she would not be swayed. Finally I agreed. Now, we go to the bathroom and we are greeted by two beautiful women, urging us to be true to our dreams. Us girls love them, on the other hand, hubby shared with me that he feels anxious and gets all conscious as two fair maidens are looking at him as he does his business. Haha.. He's so conservative!

Of Pearl Necklaces and Motherhood (Happy Mother's Day!)

Today is mother's day. Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there! I have been a mom for more than six years now and I still feel giddy whenever I am greeted on mother's day! haha. 

Earlier today, I wanted to google something (google is now a verb right?) I found it amusing when the laptop showed a letter G wearing a pearl necklace while 2 letter O's came bounding in giving the letter G a big hug. Google has such cute ways of celebrating various important dates, Mother's Day included. Then I realized, I also own a pearl necklace! Am I now part of the stereotype that is motherhood? My mother didn't own a pearl necklace, but she was the best mother in the world, showing me unconditional love and understanding and forgiveness and support. I just wish I can even be half the mother that she was, then I would've known that I am a good mother. 

As much as I love my mother, if there was one thing I could as her to change, it would be her overprotectiveness. I know my mother loved me, and I know she believed in me and that she wanted only the best for me, but in so doing she protected me from so many things, including many important life lessons I could have learned.

Until I was in high school, my mother chose what I wore, and because of this, I developed no fashion sense at all. I guess she wanted to spare me from the time-consuming decisions a teenage age girl goes through about what she wants to wear for the day. Sadly though, because of this I never discovered my own fashion style, what I liked, what I didn't like. It was only in college (during summer classes since we got to wear civilian clothes and not our uniforms) that I got the chance to choose my own clothes but by then I was just lost. It was all Tshirt and jeans for me. I never really develop the love for good and tasteful clothes, and shoes for that matter. 

Another thing she protected me from was choosing impractical courses and choosing a too progressive (radical) school. Yep, I never got to choose my course or school in college. I am sorry to say that although I know my parents only had the best intentions for me, this has caused me (and still does) a great deal of sadness and confusion. Being good (or at least acceptable) at something you don't like at all is a curse. They were correct of course, I found a good job almost immediately, and have stayed on because of the security and stability... but I am  unhappy. 

I was also protected from basic social obligations.  My mother always did the talking for me. I was terribly shy (still am) and being the youngest, I was taught not to join in the "adult conversation" (usapang matanda) so whenever we had company, I'd greet the visitors politely and retire to my room. I was never expected to entertain. And so I never developed the gift of small talk, and entertaining. Thankfully I have a husband who is a born entertainer... hahaha, and now he does most of the talking for me too.

When I got married and became a parent, I told myself I will not do these things to my child. I will not overly protect or limit and I will not impose. Now however, I realize it is easier said than done. When one has a child, all you want to do is to protect and spoil the kid to death. Yes, that is the instinct. I want to give my Bea everything, and I would like to give in to her every whim. I also have this idea that I, being the adult, know what's best. What does she know, she is merely a child (who happens to have strong opinions)? The world is a bad place and this child must be protected... always.  

This must be how my mother felt about me. It's true what they say, you'll only truly understand your mother when you become one yourself, and I appreciate her even more now. 

But as much as I love my daughter, I must resist.  Tough love and all that. I want her to be happy, to be fully developed, and be her own person. I want her to go through the process of finding her own personality not just the goody-goody personality dictated by society. I want her to experience life. Hopefully, she will thank me later. Hopefully....